We are born in this maze called universe. We spend our life try to find out way forward on this gradually unfolding and unrevealing mystery, a riddle that remains unsolved till the end. We are given little information and we gather a little more on our way to exit. The entrance or exit is predetermined and we can’t choose to alter or change both. There are some revelations that we acquire about this maze and there are some about our own selves. For example in the maze the Earth pulls us down, someone named this force as gravity. No matter where you hold a compass or a magnet on surface of this maze it places itself precisely between two poles. The maze has predetermined characteristic and we can’t change or alter them. We can however overcome them by some effort and making use of our intelligence.

Our inner self is the internal maze that we get introduced to. Again there is little control or choice offered here. The genes have a preplanned pathway for expression throughout our existence. Breathing, consciousness, awareness and control of all internal organ is beyond our control. We can’t change them but we can alter them to some degree.

Our Psychological self has the same story. I am thinking today about the emotions part of our inner self. We are born with four primary emotions. It’s sadness, happiness, anger and fear. Fear is ingrained, in computer age we can use the more user friendly term, it’s builtin and comes with the motherboard of our psyche. If you hold a newborn in your hands and lift her up in air, she will spread her arms, an action called Moro Reflex. It’s the fear of losing support or falling down. We humans continue to experience Moro’s reaction (it’s not an official term, I am just making if up for ease of this reflection).

Oncw we start growing, we face one fear after another. Before we can start appreciating it ourselves, our parents experience it on our proxy. Would this baby be able to be left alone at some point? is s/he too clingy to me?  would she face the strangers? would she be toilet trained? would she be able to socialise? When we are able to start appreciating our own existence and start making sense of world around us, we experience one kind of fear after another in each phase of life that we go through. Do I have an identity? Am I accepted in my surroundings? Shall I be able to have a productive life? Shall I get a partner? Am I able to perform? Am I productive/fertile? What would happen if I lose everything? What would happen if I fall a victim of a disease? What would happen if my turn to finish comes sooner than what I had planned/expected?  I played well but how is my innings going to finish exactly? Phase after phase, stage after stage, age after age, we face fears and they are integral part of our internal maze. We can’t understand our internal psychological jigsaw without appreciating it.

Once we appreciate that this is an integral emotional that we can’t escape then we strive to find what are the accompanied thoughts attached with it. It appears that there is a major thought that is ingrained in us as a part of this builtin system. It is that “I shall not be able to make it”. This particular thought triggers the development of many further thoughts, beliefs and ideas that reenforce our primary scary thought, that I shall not be able to make it.

It appears that the major option that we the family of human beings have is to appreciate that we need to face and fight the fear. That is the only option that we have got in attempting to find ways to address and possibly overcome this monster inside us. If we face it then it tends to disappear before eventually reappearing again. If we try to avoid it then it starts chasing us and continues to do so forever. We got limited choices here. As we need to sit in a rocket to overcome gravity in external maze, likewise we need to find the inner anger and face the fear in the eyes. Interestingly that’s a different story that what happens to us when we use the tool of anger to compensate certain emotions.

Salman (6 Aug 18)